i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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