I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
