Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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