I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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