suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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