I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
