Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
