dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
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