I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
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Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
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The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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