this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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