i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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