Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
