tell your sister to shave her snatch
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
