He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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