I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
