I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
