is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This is the prime rib incident all over again
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
