I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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