he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
