You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
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Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
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I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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