Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
