I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
tell me about the fingering
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