took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize