only you would photoshop your dick
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
