Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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