whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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