Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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