Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You can't special order awesome
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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