i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
