So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize