i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
