I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
