Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
