He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
COCAINE IS GR8
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