Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
