it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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