my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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