Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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