a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize