So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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