You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
