But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
