No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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