Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We don't watch enough power rangers
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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