He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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