Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
