I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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