you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I will pee on everything he values.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
