your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
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I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
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The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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