He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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