All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
