wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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