plz talk dirty to me
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
