True but thats because hes a fetus.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
