yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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