it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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