Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize