"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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