my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
