Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
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I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
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the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Damn victory sex feels great
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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