He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
