I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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