There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
