obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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