Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
