tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My bed smells like the plague
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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